rainbowfudge | assisting 101 with donna paulsen [CLOSED]

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assisting 101 with donna paulsen [CLOSED]

[Kay was excited. Donna was fun to be around, a cheery sort but also really smart. And she was an assistant, too! It couldn't hurt to learn some assistant tricks from a master...and have a shopping trip while they were at it. It was a nice day, perfect to scour shops and see where she could spend her allowance on. A thief's gotta have an appropriate wardrobe, right? Right?

So Kay skips down the pavement, eyes always on the shop windows that displayed really cool jackets, awesome scarves, and even a dress or two for when she had to accompany Mr. Edgeworth on particularly formal occasions because that's totally what a good assistant does. Then she stops in front of a store and presses her face against the glass to peer at a sleek black coat with deep pockets.]

Look, Miss Donna! That coat looks so cool - like what a secret agent would wear!

[Aren't you supposed to be a thief/assistant, Kay? Not a secret agent?]

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[Kay's energy would be a bit much at any other time, but...well, Donna was always happy to take someone under her wing, and this was no exception. Especially since that energy of Kay's was directed so thoroughly towards being an awesome assistant--which, of course, Donna knew plenty about.

Anyway, going shopping was much more fun when there was someone in need of her stunningly good advice.

Which is why Donna has her hands propped on her hips at that, tilting her head thoughtfully.]

You don't need a big black coat to look mysterious. I'm sure we could find something a little better fitting for you.

[Kay strokes her chin in (mock) thought, pouting and doing her best impression of Edgeworth. She peers at the coat, and then looks at Donna, nodding very very professionally.]

Hmmm...yeah, maybe it's too much. Besides, I gotta be able to dropkick people easily if they deserve it.

[Drop...kick..........

Donna takes that in, considers it, nods slowly, and decides to not question it too hard. Seriously. Not her job to know. She doesn't want to know.]

Then we should invest in a nice pair of heels for you as well. You never know when a nice pair of heels can come in handy in sticky situations. [This would be a sweet smile, except she's thinking terrible thoughts.]

Regardless, we certainly aren't making any progress loitering out here. Shall we?

[And by "shall we", she means "let's go", as she's already moving towards the door.]

[Kay thinks on the idea of having heels...then realizes how useful they can really be. Donna and Kay must be on the same terrible thought track. Her eyes light up with an impish glint.]

Oh, wow, you've got a point! A real good point! [BA DUM TSH and she knows that she's got a pun up in here.] I'd miss my boots though...

[Still, she nods when Donna moves toward the door and follows dutifully, absolutely thrilled.]

[And Donna does the clear thing to do when confronted with such a terrible pun--she props her hands on her hips and arches an eyebrow and--]

I'm going to pretend that you didn't just say that.

[Though she seems to be in a pretty good humor despite that, leading the way towards the shoes.]

Though if that's the case...perhaps some boots with heels. The possibilities are endless to the creative, by which I mean me and you.

[She giggles, still at Donna's...heels, pun intended, taking in all the different kinds of shoes on display. Unwieldy platform shoes, stilettos, cool winter boots, never mind that it wasn't winter yet...]

Hey, yeah, the perfect combination! [Kay snaps her fingers as if she just had a revelation.] It'll be harder to walk in 'em but I could practice.

[She can't help but appreciate Kay's pep in all things. It's not her style, but it's a characteristic that will serve her well, especially when dealing with a lawyer like Edgeworth.]

Practice makes perfect, after all, and if you want to be this perfect, you've got to practice.

[But she smiles at Kay, because she wouldn't be saying it if she didn't think Kay could do it.

But then she points at a pair, fancy with a pricetag to match, but--]

Those look promising.

[Kay smiles back, the picture of confidence. She'll try to match up to Donna's standards!!!

...but the smile melts upon seeing the price tag.]

Yeah, they promise a huge hole in my wallet!

[Oh right, that. Well, Donna just waves a hand at that, because Donna--]

No pain no gain--but how much is he paying you then? Edgeworth is a reasonably successful lawyer, so I would expect your paycheck to reflect that.

[Easy for you, Donna - you're an ~independent woman~ with money, not a teenager.

Oh. Ohhhh boy. Kay grins sheepishly and rubs the back of her neck.]

Um...he doesn't. [She pretty much volunteered for this job and has stuck to him like a stubborn bur ever since.]

[......]

Whoa there. Back up.

[THIS IS NOT OKAY, YOU DO REALIZE THAT, RIGHT.]

He doesn't pay you for your invaluable services?

[Kay shrugs like it's no big deal - but the look in her eyes shows a touch of longing, wistfulness, what-if-Mr.-Edgeworth-did-pay-her.]

No, I...guess I volunteered for it. After finding him, I decided to be his assistant.

[Oh she knows, Kay. She knows. So Donna arches an eyebrow at that.]

If there is one thing that is true and certain in this life, it is that successful lawyers must pay their invaluable assistants. I suppose it's time to draw your pro bono work to a close and set up a proper working relationship with your boss.

[...]

Don't worry, you can consider negotiating terms as good legal experience.

But I do have a proper working relationship with Mr. Edgeworth! He's the stuffy smart lawyer, and I bring fun and excitement and help! [Still, the idea of getting paid...]

While that is an excellent and necessary working relationship, it isn't sanctified and proper until he is paying you for every minute you spend brightening up his life.

[She smiles, and yes, she's enjoying every moment of this.]

I'll get Harvey to draft up a proposition as soon as we go back.

What's gonna be in the proposition? [Kay is admittedly interested. Are Mr. Specter and Mr. Edgeworth going to have a lawyer-to-lawyer chat, and is Kay going to get a second allowance?]

[She hums thoughtfully, moving through the aisles of shoes thoughtfully.]

Oh, a little bit of this and that. Wage, compensation, a good amount of legal jargon I'm sure, since those two won't be able to be in the same room without attempting to one-up each other.

What that means for us...is that we should use that to our advantage to get you the best deal possible.

[Kay peers at the rest of the shoes, inching away from those exceedingly pricey, exceedingly high heels and those tacky loafers that look like they belong in the bargain bin.]

...Do I get free snacks?

I am certain something along those lines could be worked into a sub clause.

[But then Donna is swooping in to usher Kay away from the tacky bargain bin. She would not be caught dead near the tacky bargain bin.]

Do you know what's even more important than the pay itself?

[Okay, away from the tacky bargain bin we go. But Donna's last statement catches Kay's attention.]

There's something more important than the money? Really?

[And Donna is just scanning shelves with the ease of long practice, but hums at the attention.

Just as it should be, really, but she was honest about there being something more important--]

The respect.

Also the leverage, but when you've got a paycheck, you've got both of those things.

Leverage...um, wouldn't Mr. Edgeworth have the leverage on me if he controls my paycheck?

[Kay glances at a rack of nice-looking jackets, but quickly turns back to Donna for her assistantly advice.]

[She sees that glance, and steps towards the rack, pulling one out that looks about Kay's size and eyeing it thoughtfully.]

Oh, that's just what you want him to think. The trick is to make yourself so indespensible that the only thing he'll ever think of doing to your paycheck is raising it.

[this is how to become terrifying.]

[Donna really knows how to pick 'em.]

I hope so, he cuts Gummy's pay a lot. Gummy is a detective he works with and he deserves a lot better than that.

[Just holding it up next to Kay and inspecting the size and fit carefully.]

Let's try this one on. Here.

[hold this. And right, their conversation.]

He certainly does. Though I can't imagine he's too terribly effective at his job if Edgeworth of all people cuts his pay. He didn't seem to be a particularly vicious boss.

[Kay takes the jacket and examines it. Then she puts it on, and sprints eagerly to the nearest full-length mirror. She turns around to see how it looks from the back, and tries several different angles like a prissy model. Only without the prissiness. She smiles with approval.]

But Gummy tries his best! He helped us during this big embassy case by finding some important evidence.

But is he consistently efficient? Because efficiency doesn't count for much if it's a once in a blue moon sort of thing.

[And Donna follows, lips twitching into an amused smile, even as she reaches out to straighten the collar.]

Not bad, not bad at all.

Well...

[Kay is hesitating. But she allows Donna to straighten her collar, and stares at her reflection in the mirror. Not bad, indeed.]

He once got dragged off by the police so he couldn't help us with an investigation, but that wasn't his fault. And sometimes we kinda have to bring him up to speed...

[She tuts at that, shaking her head.]

Regardless of his job performance on a good day, consistency is key. Soon enough, your boss will be depending on you to provide those ever-so-important services you offer. And then you hold all of the power in your capable hands.

But I don't want to steal Gummy's role 'cause he became Mr. Edgeworth's assistant before I did...

Are you saying I gotta take over his job too, Miss Donna?

Of course not! Sniping the jobs of poor detectives is not my idea of fun.

You've got a special skill set to offer to Mr. Edgeworth. If you can't carve yourself out an--above all--invaluable spot for yourself, then I've misjudged you.

Man, I really like this jacket...

[When Kay slowly takes it off, she looks as though she'll never see it again.]

Objection! I am invaluable! Without me, his work would be way boring! And I can help him recreate crime scenes with Little Thief!

[And briskly, Donna takes it off of her hands, folding it over her arm neatly and nodding.]

Excellent. We'll consider it a down payment towards your new and improved executive assistant status.

[she takes care of the assistants she takes under her wing, okay.]

And that is exactly the sort of spirit I am looking for. Of course you're invaluable. Certainly invaluable enough for a paycheck, wouldn't you say?

Then that's the first thing I'm gonna tell him before we work on another case!

[Kay pumps her fist into the air and even jumps up excitedly. She is already thinking of all the things she could do with a paycheck. All. The. Things.]

Good, good. May that excitement carry you forward towards great things.

[mooooving towards the cash register to buy this lovely coat and make kay into a lovely assistant, yes.]

I think we can declare this a rather successful outing.

[And Kay will follow her like an obedient assistant of an assistant.]

You said it! Can we do this more often? Please?

[so very obedient. Good little assistant.

Donna just arches an eyebrow at that, smiling.]

I think that can be arranged. After all, you have to report your successes to me. I'll be waiting.

[Kay lights up at that, already looking forward to their next lesson.]

I'll even keep a journal! I won't miss a single detail!

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assisting 101 with donna paulsen [CLOSED]

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