meme 001 ✽ the pirate au meme

[ditz]

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGH - okay, who finished the rum?
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ღ Meme originally from amuse_box but I did add #13 for a wild card. 
ღ Image from here.

1. Boarded: Your ship has been boarded, and as captain you've been captured! Better hope the other captain gives quarter. Alternatively, it's a nice warm day for a swim. That plank was made for walking.

2. Victory: You've captured another ship! You knew those extra cannons would come in handy. And let's hope they've got lots of swag! Where's the captain? Are you the decent sort, or are you going to rub their face in it for a bit?

3. Swab the decks: You're a cabin boy! It's a good thing you don't mind doing all the dirty work, right? Anyway, the captain's calling; better see what they want.

4. Marooned: For a bit there you'd thought you were in Davy's Jones' grip, but somehow you've washed ashore with the driftwood. As you stare dazedly up from the surf, you have questions. Where are you? And who's that already on the shore?

5. Buried Treasure: Sink me! You've really found the mother lode. . . but you're not the only one. Who gets to take the treasure back to their ship? Better make sure it's you.

6. Rum: Rum, everywhere.

7. Swordfight: It's that person you can't stand! And they've taken your most valuable possession, that one of a kind thing you just can't live without! Better get that trinket back before it and your nemesis are gone over the side forever. Let's hear some swashes buckling.

8. Mutiny: The tack is full of maggots and this drinking water may as well have come from the gutter. There's one person to blame for this, and you're here to make especially sure that they pay for it. The captain does always seem to take the best treasure before everybody else.

9. Kidnapping: Don't they look rather peaceful, innocent even, sleeping so soundly there with their fancy nightclothes and pillows. Brings a tear to your eye, it does. Better take them aboard and send for a ransom.

10. Take a Gamble: Gotta spend your loot somehow, but it must have been the rum that had you bettin' everything at once! You've lost to your hornswagglin' shipmate; what did you lose, and what will they make you do now?

11. Under the Sea: You are now a Mermaid/Merman! That sailor over there sure looks appealing; let's see if you can lure them in with your charms. Don't forget that they can't breathe under water! You do seem to always forget, don't you. . .

12. The Doldrums: Can you say cabin fever? The sails haven't moved in weeks. You're about seeing if your mates can relieve this awful boredom.

13. Wild card. What do. Your choice. It doesn't even have to be here - wait why am I even explaining this to you YOU KNOW HOW THIS WORKS.

Comments

no, this is great!

[promisekept]

[How had things taken this bizarre and alarming turn? He wasn't the kind of guy to usually end up in girls' beds wearing frilly nightgowns. Really, he wasn't.

The governor's daughter, eager to sneak out and meet her undesirable lover in the city (Cloud hadn't wanted to ask too many questions about it, but he had a grasp of the basics), had begged and pleaded with him to take her place for the night so that anyone checking on her would think her safely in bed.

For some reason, he had agreed to help. In retrospect, it was a bad idea, but somehow, beneath all his complaining and reluctance, it turned out that he was a sucker at heart. It was just his luck that he agreed to help her on the very night pirates tried to kidnap the governor's daughter. Or he hoped it was his luck and not a setup on the part of the governor, who may have been forewarned and trying to save his daughter with this ruse. Somehow, this would all be worse if he'd been thrown away by his own employer. It was bad enough as it was.

He was just a simple guardsman. He had dreams of being more than that, but who knew how likely they were to come true--especially now that he'd been kidnapped. He sat listening to the pirates argue. Pretty eyes? He didn't like the sound of being "dealt with". He decided it was probably best for now not to say too much, so he nodded and tried to look as dignified and unafraid as he could while tied up and wearing a woman's nightgown: which was to say, not very.]

[fogofwar]

[No plan survives the first five minutes of an engagement.

Lin was familiar with the phrase, and its truth, but this was a whole new level for her. How was she supposed to explain this to Brennen? Not that he wouldn't probably find the whole thing hysterical but still, now she was stuck with some strange cross dresser in her hold and - ]

Thank you.

[She said it absent-mindedly, taking the sleeping bonnet her lieutenant offered her as he joined her at the wheel and - oh, boils and blisters! The look she gave her First was the equivalent of a full out eye roll from her. Really? He'd felt the need to retrieve their captive's head gear from the kidnapper's boat? Squinting her eyes, she looked at the horizon, pretty sure this whole situation was going to become a fond running joke for the crew if it wasn't already starting. The sail's caught with a satisfying snap at least and she turned the wheel with an expert roll of her shoulder, so used to her ship and the way it moved she could have almost steered blind. For the next half hour or so she was even able to pretend all she had to do was concentrate on their course. Eventually though, she squared her shoulders and gave the wheel over to her lieutenant.]

Keep us steady for the rendezvous. Let me know if anything changes. I'll be - below.

[The man was too professional to smile but Lin knew he was doing it anyway. Slapping the frilly bonnet against her thigh, she descended into the hold and went in search of her sergeant and their newest prisoner.]

[promisekept]

[Below deck wasn't the best place for Cloud to be stowed. They tossed him somewhere like a piece of cargo. It was cramped and it was dark where they put him, and there was that awful, swaying sensation of being aboard ship, combined with the terrible feeling that the walls were closing in on him.

He was a country boy from the mountains, and the closest he'd come to "sea legs" were maybe a couple of crab legs he'd had once eaten at a festival banquet at which the guards were allowed to try some of the household's better food. So by the time the commander made her way down, he was suffering from both motion sickness and claustrophobia, both of which he was fortunate enough to be prone to. Again, lucky him. He looked decidedly green, but fortunately, he'd managed not to be sick in spite of his overwhelming nausea.

The thought that these pirates were probably going to kill him didn't make him feel any better. If he somehow survived this ordeal, he was never helping anyone again, ever. Especially not a pretty girl.

In spite of the pain and anxiety he was wracked with, he sat up straight and tried to maintain as brave an air as he could, drawing on an as-yet-untapped reserve of strength and will within him. He may have looked seasick, but at least he was courageously seasick. If he were going to die, he'd try to do so with dignity. He looked up at the commander as she approached.]

[fogofwar]

[Turns out her sergeant had stuffed the captive in the small compartment they kept the extra supplies in for quick repairs onboard ship. Not a bad place and certainly easy to keep him from having anywhere but one direction to bolt. She gave her man a nod as she went by and he handed her a bucket. She looked blankly at him but silently took whatever he was indicating with it as important and so carried it with her when she ducked into the enclosed space, the light from the shielded lamp outside the room giving her unreliable but enough light to see her latest acquisition by.

It took a minute in the swaying light but she understood the bucket and dropped it in front of him between his feet. Then she sighed and sat down on a nearby coil of rope. At least he was being stoic about the whole situation. She had no doubt that before the prisoner had been left alone, her sergeant had thoroughly searched him for both weapons and checked and tightened his bindings. She trusted her crew with her life. They trusted her with theirs. Which was why it was her job to deal with possible threats to them. No matter how lacy.]

So I'm stuck with the problem of you. You're either a spy, a fool, or a trap and the easiest way to take care of any of those would be to toss you over the side with the rest of the scow. [Feeling the muscle tension moving in, she rolled her shoulders forward and glared at her frilly captive, cloth of his bonnet still hanging from her hand.] You're free to tell me why that's a bad idea if you think it will help.

[promisekept]

[Cloud stares at the bucket for a full few seconds, torn between acknowledging it and not. At last, he decides to say something, even though there's clearly no need for manners in this situation:] Thanks.

[But he still won't let himself be sick. He may not be the strongest or smartest or the most successful of the guards, but he's one of the most stubborn.

Of the three things she mentions, he's probably a fool, if those are his only options. Is this where he's supposed to beg for his life? Isn't that what pirates make you do? In stories anyway. Of course he doesn't want to die, he's afraid of dying, but he doesn't want to beg, either, especially if it's not going to do any good. He might be afraid, his heart beating fast and strong, but he realizes he's angry, too, at the unfairness and absurdity of it.]

Don't think it'll help. You're a pirate. But it's wrong. That's why you shouldn't. [Even he doesn't quite know where this moral courage comes from, and he can hear his voice shake as he says it, but he says it all the same.]

I was trying to help somebody. That's all. [Story of his life, always trying to help against his better judgment and having it go wrong. It sounds like a pathetic excuse, even to him--help someone by dressing up in a girls' nightgown? At least he has regular men's underclothes on under it, but that's hardly the point right now.] I'm not gonna cause you a problem.

[Really, he doesn't approve of piracy, but what danger could he possibly hold for a ship full of cutthroats? Not much, on a good day, and this was a very, very bad day.]

[fogofwar]

[She appreciates the manners. They're important on her ship because she believes they're a sign of control and awareness. Being thanked by a prisoner is new though and he earns points for that. He earns points for not lying as well, because no one lies that badly. As arguments for living go, he could have done better but again, she can appreciate that at least he's being honest. She'd have had a hard time believing him if he'd claimed he could ransom himself, though that was more due to his lack of aristocratic airs than the lacy nighty. She'd seen aristocrats in stranger outfits.]

Sounds like you were a fool then. [No sense in blunting the assessment.] And I'd guess it was for a pretty girl. You wouldn't be the first. [Men did all kinds of stupid things to end up in a pretty girl's bed, something Lin had never understood even if she understood its apparent power.] But you're right. Killing you pointlessly would be wrong. So until I find a point, looks like we're stuck. [her eyes traveled very thoroughly up and down the entire course of him, pointedly taking in the lace before she stood up.] And since I'm not the type of corsair to ravish my captives, no matter how enticingly frilly they're dressed - you any good with any ship's work?