meme 001 ✽ the pirate au meme

[ditz]

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGH - okay, who finished the rum?
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ღ Meme originally from amuse_box but I did add #13 for a wild card. 
ღ Image from here.

1. Boarded: Your ship has been boarded, and as captain you've been captured! Better hope the other captain gives quarter. Alternatively, it's a nice warm day for a swim. That plank was made for walking.

2. Victory: You've captured another ship! You knew those extra cannons would come in handy. And let's hope they've got lots of swag! Where's the captain? Are you the decent sort, or are you going to rub their face in it for a bit?

3. Swab the decks: You're a cabin boy! It's a good thing you don't mind doing all the dirty work, right? Anyway, the captain's calling; better see what they want.

4. Marooned: For a bit there you'd thought you were in Davy's Jones' grip, but somehow you've washed ashore with the driftwood. As you stare dazedly up from the surf, you have questions. Where are you? And who's that already on the shore?

5. Buried Treasure: Sink me! You've really found the mother lode. . . but you're not the only one. Who gets to take the treasure back to their ship? Better make sure it's you.

6. Rum: Rum, everywhere.

7. Swordfight: It's that person you can't stand! And they've taken your most valuable possession, that one of a kind thing you just can't live without! Better get that trinket back before it and your nemesis are gone over the side forever. Let's hear some swashes buckling.

8. Mutiny: The tack is full of maggots and this drinking water may as well have come from the gutter. There's one person to blame for this, and you're here to make especially sure that they pay for it. The captain does always seem to take the best treasure before everybody else.

9. Kidnapping: Don't they look rather peaceful, innocent even, sleeping so soundly there with their fancy nightclothes and pillows. Brings a tear to your eye, it does. Better take them aboard and send for a ransom.

10. Take a Gamble: Gotta spend your loot somehow, but it must have been the rum that had you bettin' everything at once! You've lost to your hornswagglin' shipmate; what did you lose, and what will they make you do now?

11. Under the Sea: You are now a Mermaid/Merman! That sailor over there sure looks appealing; let's see if you can lure them in with your charms. Don't forget that they can't breathe under water! You do seem to always forget, don't you. . .

12. The Doldrums: Can you say cabin fever? The sails haven't moved in weeks. You're about seeing if your mates can relieve this awful boredom.

13. Wild card. What do. Your choice. It doesn't even have to be here - wait why am I even explaining this to you YOU KNOW HOW THIS WORKS.

Comments

And I...don't know what I'm even doing...

[mr_lawyer_there]

[Phoenix asks someone to take over the wheel as he searches for that patch of pi - oh, a mermaid. Or maybe that was a merman -

As he focuses on the merman with slightly trembling hands, Phoenix nearly topples backward in shock. In fact, he drops his blue plumed hat and it starts floating down toward the sea.]

N-N-No way! No way!

[truthsnomiracle]

[That cry of shock was loud enough to have caught the ears of the merman, if faintly. He turns about, then spies the ship in the distance... and a familiar blue hat floating his way. The prosecutor dives, then swims over to the hat, surfacing beneath it and grabbing it with one half-webbed hand. He looks between it and the ship...]

(Just as I'm coming to realize...)

[mr_lawyer_there]

[Not only am I seeing dead merpeople, I've lost my hat! What kind of pirate captain would I be without my hat?!]

[Phoenix scrambles back to the railing of the starboard side, rubbing his eyes as he sees the merman with his hat. Then he cries out:]

It can't be!

[truthsnomiracle]

[The merman swims closer and holds out the hat with one hand. Yep, it's Edgeworth all right... and he's sighing.]

...Wright. I had thought the vastness of the ocean would be sufficient to allow us to avoid crossing paths by chance. Of course, I had also thought we'd been apart long enough for you to reevaluate your fashion sense, but that's clearly not the case either.

[mr_lawyer_there]

How...what...I thought you were dead, Edgeworth!

[He just stares down at the hat. Um, he won't be able to reach that without falling overboard.]

And what's wrong with my fashion sense?!

1/2

[truthsnomiracle]

[Just use a rope, Wright.]

A red-and-orange feather on a blue hat? Really, Wright?

[truthsnomiracle]

[But seriously now...]

The merman you knew nearly a year ago had to die, whether figuratively or otherwise. Wouldn't you agree, after seeing who he'd become?

1/2

[mr_lawyer_there]

But...don't you think it looks like a phoenix feather? I'm not just Phoenix Wright, I'm the Phoenix! It's my pirate name! Or something.

[But he does grab the nearest rope ladder. Then he tosses it over the side, and climbs down.]

[mr_lawyer_there]

[He stops a few rungs away from the end and snatches the hat from Edgeworth with an exasperated, you-don't-understand-my-fashion-sense look.

Still hanging on, his expression changes. Oh, and don't worry, he already gave orders to his men to not make any sudden movements while he's down here.]

And, we really thought you died!

[truthsnomiracle]

It was under consideration, should I have found no answers to my questions. But that's hardly relevant now compared to what you should be asking yourself.

[mr_lawyer_there]

OBJECTION!

Before I ask myself anything, I should be asking you the questions!

[truthsnomiracle]

[Edgeworth sighs in an almost amused fashion and shakes his head.]

I suppose that's to be expected.

[Well, he's neither objecting nor leaving in response to that demand, at least...]

[mr_lawyer_there]

...but first, maybe I should steer this ship somewhere and sit down somewhere comfortable.

[This is gonna take a while. I can't hang around here forever!]

[truthsnomiracle]

[Edgeworth paddles backwards.]

Then take care not to outpace me, Wright.

[That's as much of an "okay" as you're going to get, it seems.]

[mr_lawyer_there]

I think we're close to some cavern or something. It's supposed to have some dead pirate's treasure.

[He looks up at some of his crew members staring down at him and the merman.] I'll be back up in a sec!

[Then he climbs back up the ladder.

I don't think anyone's going to believe me when I tell them Edgeworth's alive...]

[truthsnomiracle]

So long as you keep in mind that we're supposed to have a discussion, not an adventure.

[That having been said, the merman waits for the ship to get underway so that he can follow.]

[mr_lawyer_there]

R-right.

[Is there anything wrong with having both?]

[The ship soon starts moving northeast at Phoenix's direction. He can be heard yelling commands - and overdoing it a bit, obviously.]

[truthsnomiracle]

[Edgeworth simply dives to just barely beneath the surface and wordlessly does his best to keep up with the ship as it gets underway.]

[mr_lawyer_there]

[The ship keeps sailing onward at a comfortable pace, with Phoenix marching around and giving orders this way and that until a small island with a large chalk-white cave comes into view.

The cave's entrance is flooded, and the ship enters without a problem.]

[truthsnomiracle]

(Relatively pleasing, for a cave -- and open enough not to be a concern.)

[And in Edgeworth goes after the ship.]

[mr_lawyer_there]

[They drop anchor close to a few ledges jutting out from the cave walls, with some pirates piling into the first rowboat. It is quickly lowered, and they head deeper into the cave.

Phoenix, on the other hand, gets onto one of the ledges overlooking the sea that had entered the cave, sitting down so that his legs dangled over the sides.]

[truthsnomiracle]

[At the same time, Edgeworth's head pokes out of the water. Below the water line, it's possible to make out the fact that his arms are crossed.]

I believe you wished to be the first to ask questions.

[mr_lawyer_there]

[Phoenix adjusts his hat and sighs; yup, that's indeed Edgeworth, from the way he's crossing his arms.]

Okay, I'll start with, "Why did you leave that kind of note?" You could've just taken a break without making everyone believe you were dead!

[truthsnomiracle]

There were several reasons. For one, I didn't wish to be pursued. For another, there was the possibility that I might never return. Finally, I knew that should I return, it must not be as the same merman.

[mr_lawyer_there]

You thought you were never going to return?! [Phoenix is so shocked, he nearly falls off the ledge.]