rainbowfudge | meme 001 ✽ the pirate au meme

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGH - okay, who finished the rum?
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ღ Meme originally from

amuse_box but I did add #13 for a wild card.
ღ Image from here.

1. Boarded: Your ship has been boarded, and as captain you've been captured! Better hope the other captain gives quarter. Alternatively, it's a nice warm day for a swim. That plank was made for walking.

2. Victory: You've captured another ship! You knew those extra cannons would come in handy. And let's hope they've got lots of swag! Where's the captain? Are you the decent sort, or are you going to rub their face in it for a bit?

3. Swab the decks: You're a cabin boy! It's a good thing you don't mind doing all the dirty work, right? Anyway, the captain's calling; better see what they want.

4. Marooned: For a bit there you'd thought you were in Davy's Jones' grip, but somehow you've washed ashore with the driftwood. As you stare dazedly up from the surf, you have questions. Where are you? And who's that already on the shore?

5. Buried Treasure: Sink me! You've really found the mother lode. . . but you're not the only one. Who gets to take the treasure back to their ship? Better make sure it's you.

6. Rum: Rum, everywhere.

7. Swordfight: It's that person you can't stand! And they've taken your most valuable possession, that one of a kind thing you just can't live without! Better get that trinket back before it and your nemesis are gone over the side forever. Let's hear some swashes buckling.

8. Mutiny: The tack is full of maggots and this drinking water may as well have come from the gutter. There's one person to blame for this, and you're here to make especially sure that they pay for it. The captain does always seem to take the best treasure before everybody else.

9. Kidnapping: Don't they look rather peaceful, innocent even, sleeping so soundly there with their fancy nightclothes and pillows. Brings a tear to your eye, it does. Better take them aboard and send for a ransom.

10. Take a Gamble: Gotta spend your loot somehow, but it must have been the rum that had you bettin' everything at once! You've lost to your hornswagglin' shipmate; what did you lose, and what will they make you do now?

11. Under the Sea: You are now a Mermaid/Merman! That sailor over there sure looks appealing; let's see if you can lure them in with your charms. Don't forget that they can't breathe under water! You do seem to always forget, don't you. . .

12. The Doldrums: Can you say cabin fever? The sails haven't moved in weeks. You're about seeing if your mates can relieve this awful boredom.

13. Wild card. What do. Your choice. It doesn't even have to be here - wait why am I even explaining this to you YOU KNOW HOW THIS WORKS.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[WITH A FEY WENCH AT HER HELM oh wait that's a guy I??? still best boat.

Once Grell marks their next stop on the map, Hardin nods approvingly and puts his hands behind his head.]
She's fickle, as we all are; I wouldn't blame her, really. But gods, she must adore you, Captain; I've not seen anyone have such fine luck in all my years!

...I do believe you're far too kind, however; what would you do if I was to run off with some bare chested girl, never to be seen again? However would you find another quite so fine a boathand as me?
But, I could not question your orders; I'll be sure to include that 'finding their own replacement' part when announcing, 'less you'd like to do the honours and see the crew's faces light up?

[It's then that Hardin's expression out and out turns into a lopsided grin.]

You are too good to us, more like. Who would even live a pious life when there is this instead?

[SERIOUSLY IS THAT CARVING AT THE HELM OF THE BOAT A GUY

IS THAT WHY WE CALL IT SYDNEY

I D K]

I think she loves the entire crew, since we give her proper respect and all...that, or if we want to be pessimists we're headed for a calamity. But let's be positive.

Ah, if you ran off, Hardin... [~~she'd kill the girl 8,)~~] I'd be terribly upset I couldn't be the one to marry you. [RELAX HARDIN she means that since ship captains can marry people she would marry Hardin and his bride. BUT SHE SAID IT THAT WAY ON PURPOSE.] But I cannot stand in the way of true love, not at all.

I'd like to announce it, if you don't mind~ what I need you to do is find out the extent of the damage so when we speak to your man at the port I'm not ill informed.

[Oh, you've got her laughing again.]

Those who would choose piety can't see that hell is an excess of self-control. If the best of the afterlife is filled with those folk? I'd assume the best company's elsewhere.

[She does like spouting off almost-philosophical things.]

[PROBABLY. The carving just looks like a Sydney, no matter what Sydney's packing under the lovingly carved scales.]

If I had to show respect to anyone, it'd be a fine woman. [WINK WINK-- no literally Hardin you are lame] But she's taken excellent care of us, so I see no reason to not allow a bit more saintless living. Certainly better than the downtrodden, miserable lives of the righteous!

I do think I'd have to get your approval first, but no woman could compare to this. [Oh um shh just ignore his stilting speech he's not mildly flustered no shhh] There is true love, and then there is your life's calling. I'm not so foolish as to not recognise that my place is here, with you and the men and our beloved Sydney.

[The lazy stretching turns into a curt bow; oh he does so love orders.]
As you wish, Captain; shall I go now and inspect, or did you need me for anything else? Perhaps more sparkling wit, or charm?

[That laugh just has his smile grow until he's full-out grinning; altogether too rare outside of her cabin, really.

IT'S NOT MANLY TO SMILE WHAT SHHH.] Entirely too true, as always; I will always choose a good time over the promise of some dead saint's approval. Shall I see you in the pits of hell, then?

[FEELINGS PACT. LET'S BRING UP THE FEELINGS PACT. AVOID ALL SITUATIONS.] It's just convenient when the two overlap. And I'm glad to hear you'll stay, means we don't have to think up the contingency plan just yet.

[Oh Hardin. Forget about being manly, those who would diss smiles can't hold their ground like he can.] Before that time comes, we could always go looking for the fountain of youth and choose neither heaven nor hell~ I fancy if it ever gets too boring then we look up how to kill an immortal.

[NICE SAVE GRELL; imagine how awk it could've been oh noooo.]
I do so love convenience; pity I'm not fancying any of the men onboard, then. How simple would life be, should I lower my standards?
Ah, but I'll get you a replacement and train them up long before I leave, if I don't die onboard. Don't worry about me at any rate!

[But they don't listen if he smiles boohoo!! must hold authority over the other crewmembers. Speaking of which, he heads to the door and leans on it, grinning over his shoulder; the idea of checking Sydney is just as important as talking to Grell, alas!]
Now this is something I like the sound of. Just fancy that; us, causing trouble into eternity! I fancy we'd have to get new faces at the turn of the times. Perhaps I could shave, now and then. That might be enough to throw people off our trails, do you think?

Life is much simpler with low standards, but it means you suffer the low quality that is then handed to you. In matters of love, it doesn't matter the gender of the person you adore, there's an equal chance they'll be a good companion to you if you can be their friend. But I'm rambling now. And the more you tell me not to worry, the more I'll worry in spite.

[She pauses, considering the disguise idea.]

Yes, you shaving would be entirely different, I really can't imagine you without your beard. And you're allowing me to go on and keep you from your tasks-sometimes someone needs to tell me to shut up.

...Captain, really.
Would you think that such petty worries would stop me from finding love with another by this stage of life? If they would have me, and if they can make my heart beat as it does when I am in the thick of battle, then I don't care what they have.
Ah, perhaps lowering my standards will be harder than I think it to be.

[Oh great now he's self-conscious about the beard; one hand rubs over it idly as he frowns a little.]

...Hm. Perhaps I should do a test run while we are so far from land; gives me time to grow it back.
But I do not mind; although my chores are important, I would just as gladly treasure your conversation. And, even if I didn't, I would deserve twenty lashes for being so rude as to run off before you had finished addressing me.

Would you really want to have to lash me now, Captain?

[She pauses, considering the question, before laughing and turning back to her maps.]

Go, Hardin, you're dismissed for the time being without needing to fear the lash.

[She'll take her time to draw up a list of what must be done after they reach shore, and then go to announce the news to the crew. It wouldn't be long before they would arrive, but she still wanted to tell them about her request regarding leaving-and to see their happiness at getting the night off.

Ah, she loved this life, loved it all the more for every time she heard laughter and knew the others were in good spirits. They were her friends as much as her crew, she could not pretend otherwise, no matter if the title of captain was there.]

meme 001 ✽ the pirate au meme

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is that hardin as a bear

y..........es...........i really need to buy icon slots jsdflh

it's adorable