rainbowfudge | meme 001 ✽ the pirate au meme

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meme 001 ✽ the pirate au meme

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGH - okay, who finished the rum?
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ღ Meme originally from

amuse_box but I did add #13 for a wild card.
ღ Image from here.

1. Boarded: Your ship has been boarded, and as captain you've been captured! Better hope the other captain gives quarter. Alternatively, it's a nice warm day for a swim. That plank was made for walking.

2. Victory: You've captured another ship! You knew those extra cannons would come in handy. And let's hope they've got lots of swag! Where's the captain? Are you the decent sort, or are you going to rub their face in it for a bit?

3. Swab the decks: You're a cabin boy! It's a good thing you don't mind doing all the dirty work, right? Anyway, the captain's calling; better see what they want.

4. Marooned: For a bit there you'd thought you were in Davy's Jones' grip, but somehow you've washed ashore with the driftwood. As you stare dazedly up from the surf, you have questions. Where are you? And who's that already on the shore?

5. Buried Treasure: Sink me! You've really found the mother lode. . . but you're not the only one. Who gets to take the treasure back to their ship? Better make sure it's you.

6. Rum: Rum, everywhere.

7. Swordfight: It's that person you can't stand! And they've taken your most valuable possession, that one of a kind thing you just can't live without! Better get that trinket back before it and your nemesis are gone over the side forever. Let's hear some swashes buckling.

8. Mutiny: The tack is full of maggots and this drinking water may as well have come from the gutter. There's one person to blame for this, and you're here to make especially sure that they pay for it. The captain does always seem to take the best treasure before everybody else.

9. Kidnapping: Don't they look rather peaceful, innocent even, sleeping so soundly there with their fancy nightclothes and pillows. Brings a tear to your eye, it does. Better take them aboard and send for a ransom.

10. Take a Gamble: Gotta spend your loot somehow, but it must have been the rum that had you bettin' everything at once! You've lost to your hornswagglin' shipmate; what did you lose, and what will they make you do now?

11. Under the Sea: You are now a Mermaid/Merman! That sailor over there sure looks appealing; let's see if you can lure them in with your charms. Don't forget that they can't breathe under water! You do seem to always forget, don't you. . .

12. The Doldrums: Can you say cabin fever? The sails haven't moved in weeks. You're about seeing if your mates can relieve this awful boredom.

13. Wild card. What do. Your choice. It doesn't even have to be here - wait why am I even explaining this to you YOU KNOW HOW THIS WORKS.

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The plan has been, by necessity, somewhat convoluted - as one might expect when step two is get kidnapped by pirates. Step one was, in essence, make them think it was their idea and it had been complex in itself, insinuating herself into the Admiral's life and affections. It isn't the first or the last time that she'll pursue a relationship for the sake of a target, but it's probably going to be more rare that the marriage isn't to said target.

It doesn't matter which ship takes her, in the end; she just needs a route in, and somewhere she can learn more about what she's going to need to know to get closer. The usual ways don't work so well with these people, so first she has to be bait--

--Captain Adler is a slight surprise, and one that makes her briefly glad she'd opted against concealing any weapons on herself. A ship crewed by women is more likely, she suspects, to think to search her, and this works so much better if she doesn't have to explain anything contrary to what they must expect of Odette, a sweet thing with romanticized ideas of the sea.

It's not Irene that takes her personally; it's a little too much of a risk. She sends Kate and Beatriz to Odette's quarters instead. It's not even difficult, or so she assumes from how quickly they accomplish their task- which perhaps should tip her off, but doesn't. Well, her crew are handpicked, and she doesn't put up with incompetence.

She's told them not to be overly polite.

There are stories told about Captain Irene Adler- or the Woman- and rather a few of them involve stealing off young women for her own nefarious purposes, often assimilating them into her crew with a mix of trickery, temptation, bribery and force- which Irene has to laugh at. Her crew, whether in past lives they were the dainty daughters of rich merchants or housemaids or fallen women like Irene herself, all came very willingly.

She doubts very much that the lovely Odette wants to run away to sea. No, Odette is the other sort of woman that comes aboard- usually pretty, posh, petrified, but very glad that Irene and her crew are all female. (She has spun herself a legend about never allowing herself to be boarded by a man- nudge nudge, wink wink). It's an advantage that Irene hadn't originally expected; sometimes, when she takes women as hostages, wives and daughters of influential men, they talk, whether because they think they can win her sympathy or because it's been a while since anyone has listened.

With this in mind, she's so glad to have gotten rid of the old crew who only served under her because it was that or join their Captain treading water with his hands bound, yelling curses after her as she sailed off in his (her) ship. They would never understand that treasure doesn't have to glitter, that knowledge is as good as money when you know how to use it.

Of course, the ransom that one Charles Eddington, British Navy Admiral, will pay up for her will do rather nicely, as well.

"Well!" She's on the quarterdeck with one hand on the hilt of her sword as Kate and Beatriz manhandle (--figure of speech) Odette onto the ship and pat her down, looking, as expected, for weapons and anything of value. She comes striding over, dressed in a jumble of different clothes, most of them male- close-fitting breeches, boots- but she's also separated a deep red bodice from its skirt and put it to use without a chemise beneath it, the sleeves pinned up at the elbows to ensure the free use of her hands. Her lips, of course, are bright red; that's all part of the mythos. Some stories claim it's blood; she likes to dismiss that out of hand on the grounds of blood's inferior colour when dry, intentionally making sure everyone is left with the unspoken question of how does she know? ringing in their mind.

(Every pirate captain has a flag of their very own; the Woman's is a skull and curved cutlasses, unremarkable save for the fact that the skull has lips, painted in the same crimson colour).

"Now, I'm sure there's no need to search her," she says, which is all for Odette's benefit and a complete lie. They're doing it on her orders, after all. "My. You've certainly found treasure." There's approving laughter, which she quickly stops as she turns her head and calls out her orders, ensuring that they set sail fast and not dawdle, and certainly not gawp at our guest, Miss Norton--

She casts a grin at Odette, bound with her hands behind her back, as her crew disperse and get on with it- girls of fourteen to women of sixty, from all around the world and from all manner of background, some of them in chemises slashed short to keep their feet free from the material, some still in the male disguise they wore for years for the sake of sailing before Irene Adler went looking for female crew. Beatriz stays with her fingers wrapped around Benevenuta's upper arm, gun at her ribs. She's not in any danger, of course, or what would the use of the ransom be? No, the gun is for show, and soon it will be dismissed.

"Welcome aboard The Whiphand, Mrs Eddington," she offers, showing her teeth in a way that isn't actually that welcoming, "I hope the most hospitable and indeed only pirate vessel you ever find your charming self dragged onto against your will."

...ostensibly.

If there is anything at all about Odette Eddington that indicates she might be anything more than the quiet-eyed little piece of prettiness naught but a bauble herself to be traded from one to the other at high price indeed-- well, it's the mere fact of the same particular marriage that makes her such a prize here, pretty and expensive not necessarily tending to go hand in hand. The good Admiral's renowned bachelor status was precisely what made him ideal for this, not only his position or his fortune but also his reputation as a lure - a man who'd never shown any particular favour to one mistress or the next finally marries some arguably unremarkable French bit of fluff must have found something in her to especially treasure, something he'd surely want back at whatever cost.

It fits all very neatly into a narrative that revolves entirely around Eddington himself, as though Odette had little more to do with it than the gloss of her hair or wideness of her eyes, and it is very neat how there's almost no way at all of connecting it to her endgame, but if anyone is going to realize just how much effort went into it--

--and then Adler will merely think her a social-climbing fortune-hunter, she reminds herself, and perhaps dismiss her as little more than that. She doesn't intend to remain on this ship long enough to be traded back to her husband, and all the better if this very sharp captain isn't paying her close attention. She makes herself tremble, just a little, in Beatriz's grip, as if it hasn't occurred to her how useless she'd be to them dead. The only point at which she resists the search (and there are a few valuables on her person, but nothing more dangerous than her haircombs) is an attempt to take her wedding ring, making a fist around it and pressing it to her chest.

“I hope it will not be a long stay,” she says, pert and piqued and just sufficiently defiant to indicate that particular wit of the clever woman too sheltered and spoiled to be cautious.

Irene gives an unrestrained laugh, shifting her weight easily as the ship creaks and lurches beneath her feet, natural as breathing. "As do I. You aren't earning us money sitting pretty, after all. Speaking of which; Miss Valdés, kindly take your gun from Mrs Eddington's side before you blow our guest to kingdom come."

It's all an act; Beatriz is very aware of what she is and isn't supposed to do, and is far too clever to consider killing Odette. Everything she does is on Irene's orders. She lowers the gun, and loosens her hold slightly.

"Now, my dear, if you can manage to escape using only the help of your wedding ring, I for one will be distinctly impressed by your ingenuity. Keep it, with my compliments- I'll pry Kate from your pearls later, on the condition of your cooperation."

Which she doubts will be difficult to ensure, really. But Benevenuta may have some trouble in getting Irene to underestimate her; Irene has played that game herself rather too many times. A bit of French fluff Odette may be, but Irene sees no reason to equate that with uselessness.

On the one hand, there's a great deal of arrogance in what Benevenuta is setting out to do and what it assumes about her capabilities - that she can walk onto a pirate ship apparently unarmed, hands bound, and expect without even entertaining the possibility of failure to walk off it under her own power with a few lessons learned and some other things that don't belong to her - but on the other hand, she's trained for this and she is very good at what she does.

“Cooperation,” she repeats, dubiously, shooting a wary look at Beatriz as the gun lowers and taking care not to struggle against the bindings; no one likes rope burn, that isn't terribly suspicious, and best they not wonder too deeply later why she doesn't have any. “What cooperation?”

'Not trying to escape', probably. It's going to be a delicately timed thing, staying long enough to make the experience useful without giving them the opportunity to actually get her ransomed back to Eddington. (She'll miss him, she thinks, but after all this is done with, she doesn't expect she'll be able to go back.)

"Not doing anything, ah...unreasonably optimistic," Irene says, with her eyebrows raised faux-apologetically. "Like trying to escape- which unless you are an excellent swimmer simply isn't going to work out well for you- send a message or obstruct my crew in their duties in any way. But still, be comforted; I don't suspect you of being much of a troublemaker."

...which may be something of a mistake, really. Not that she knows it. (Yet). She touches her own lower lip with the middle knuckle of her index finger and then gives a ready smile, locking eyes with Benevenuta. There's something thoughtful about her expression, which tends to frighten people more readily than snarls and sneers; a woman thinking of all the things she could do is a terrifying sight.

Especially when her other hand is still on the hilt of her sword.

"Am I wrong, Madame Eddington?"

Benevenuta remembers, just one single solitary moment later than she ought, to drop her gaze as if properly intimidated. (Odette Eddington doesn't so calmly or confidently stare down pirate captains-- at least not yet.)

Irene is and is not what she expected, once she'd realized which captain had taken her bait; it's almost disappointing to find her exactly what she might have hoped, when so much of her plan hinges on putting Irene's somewhat awry. She wouldn't have minded spending a bit of time as crew once she's done - that would be an adventure, to remake herself in Irene Adler's image - but she doesn't imagine she'll be welcome, after wasting their time to what she expects will be little profit. She has every respect for this woman's achievements--

--but she wouldn't be who and what she is if she couldn't regretfully set that respect aside and prioritize, always, her own agenda as it serves the higher cause of the Nahashi.

“Non.”

(She still should have looked away sooner.)

Irene narrows her eyes, the corner of her lips tugging up- she saw that, thank you, well-practiced as she is at spotting glimpses of defiance in other woman- how else would she find her crew?

But she doesn't mention it. Sometimes a glimpse is just a glimpse.

That said, not mentioning it is not the same as not remembering it. She's opens her mouth to direct the conversation (such as it is) along other lines, but is distracted- and rightly so- by a yell from a crewmember. A beat, and--

"I think a more private discussion would serve us well. Miss Valdés, lead Mrs Eddington to my quarters and ensure her safety- just see that nothing of any particular interest is on display, won't you? Madam- my deepest apologies. Captaincy can be such a task. I'll endeavour to return for a private chat at the earliest convenience, once we're properly underway."

Not throw her in the brig- she'll get nothing from her that way, and Odette is a lady.

She gives half a bow and strides off, which is the cue for Beatriz to lead (or drag) Benevenuta to Irene's cabin, her hands still tied. She's under orders not to make conversation, and will stick to it as she watches Benevenuta, gun still in her hand. The cabin itself is surprisingly neat for a woman who makes such a show of casual, don't-carish confidence; it's hard to picture her picking things up off the floor and making her bed (insofar as it can be made, covered as it is in all sorts of shawls and coverlets, more a nest than anything and half-concealed by a flimsy curtain) but someone must. It's small, too, and smells of a spicy sort of perfume, along with the pervading smell of the sea. The table is covered with maps- a map of the world at the forefront- and instruments of navigation, accompanied by a pair of wrist irons, a jewelled knife and a jade and silver hair comb. Cabinets are pressed against the walls, fixed down to avoid any sliding.

The minutes are slow and, in the cabin, silent, though outside and above there is the sound of the sea and a crew working like clockwork, until Irene calls to keep her steady and the sound of her boots is audible, drawing close.

"Thank you," she purrs to Beatriz before acknowledging Benevenuta at all, gesturing her out of the door and then letting it shut, click--

"Are you still tied up?" she inquires with something like idle amusement, accounting for the rock of the ship easily as she makes for one of the cabinets and pulls out a bottle of red wine- captain's prerogative, you understand. "Gosh, she is thorough, isn't she? Then again, I suppose there is that knife there to worry about if you were untied. Or perhaps, thinking down a different route, you could grab it anyway- difficult to do blind but far from impossible- and work yourself free?" A smile, all teeth; "But I'm not sure. What would you do next, after all? Would you stab me, given the chance?"

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meme 001 ✽ the pirate au meme

ix; or that's what you think

I took forever to write this because pirate AUs are srs business & require much thought. also words.

the whiphand, oh my god.

B)

HER CHEST, I ACTUALLY MEANT HER BACK, ON ACCOUNT OF THE TIED WRISTS ALSO I SHOULD PROOF READ MY SHIT

I DIDN'T NOTICE IT'S OKAY

THANK GOD also hi i'm late

no worries >3